At least I was able to get everything I planned to buy (except for a $3 sandwich maker for myself, boo!) so it was worth lining up in the rain at 4:45am. Also, I learned that shopping carts are your enemy on Black Friday at Target... and that Wal-Mart is the devil, but then again, I already knew that.

And then I got home, and lo and behold, it has been confirmed:

( The only good thing to happen to my fandom in months... )

Now I'm off to catch some late online Black Friday sales and to hopefully get a huge chunk of my holiday shopping done. Then I have to figure out a way to get 5000 words written today while putting up our annoying-to-assemble Christmas tree. (At least the end result is prettiful so it's worth it. XD )

Good luck to anybody who has to work this dreaded holiday today~!

http://www.mamma-mia.com/readnews.asp?id=236mm&sec=news

Why didn't anyone tell me that the "crackhead" is part of the Mamma Mia US tour cast now??? OMG! And it's coming to Hartford the first week of December! :O

And he's a voice actor in your new Kingdom Hearts game! LMAO. Where will he pop up next?

I can't believe our little Tuxxy is getting all these acting roles... *sniff*

☆Finish application(s)
☆Write SoP (AKA essay lolol)
☆Get recommendation letters
☆Read that play before the reading with everyone this Sunday
☆Get birthday present for John
☆Learn/film "La Soldier" and "Set me Free" by the end of next week
☆Finish up Halloween costume
☆Finish sewing Brenda's curtains... all 3 sets of them :/
☆Make entire Neptune costume (by Christmas, so of course I have to gather all the materials and actually find suitable fabrics and all that good stuff before then... also, shoe paint. D: )
☆Fit NaNoWriMo somewhere in November? After applications are all sent out and in between various huge sewing projects? Merrrgh.
☆Work to get moneyz for most of these things... and it probably wouldn't hurt to find a volunteer gig working with children, seeing as I'm severely lacking in experience with that and it is semi-required for certain things I want to do in the near future...

Chances are I've forgotten something, as well...
Hmm, having goals is no longer that fun. XD Haha, I'm such a lazy-ass...

Oh, how could I forget the most important thing of all this month?! (Besides Rocky Horror, of course.) I need to watch Hocus Pocus! :D Yay appropriate icon! That movie never gets old...

...since I've had a Gackt song stuck in my head, but I'm really digging some of these new singles. Especially "In Flames"; Gackt's falsetto is back, hurrah! (Heh, bet you weren't expecting that, right? And now you're probably groaning, "Great, it's going to be another stupid fangirl post." But I assure you, it's not. :p )

So for whatever reason, I recently decided on a whim that I was going to try harder to turn every day into an adventure of sorts. (Wow, that sounds surprisingly more lame than it did in my head. Ah well.) Even though I was dead tired this morning, and had to work at my oh-so-exciting library job, I took the time to get all dressed up; after all, an adventuress needs suitably awesome clothes, am I right? XD And I made sure to put some extra special music on my mp3 player for my commute to work, since I take the train now. (Trainlove. <3 'Cept when it's late, which is at least half the time. And, unfortunately, there are no hotties in tight purple pants like there were in Japan OH LORDY WHY DID I DELETE ALL OF MY JAPAN POSTS, STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID.) Music makes everything more lovely and/or mysterious, from the, er, rather eccentric characters that tend to get on the train at BPT to the industrial wasteland-ish landscapes we happen to pass by... it also helps me to endure the ride on the shuttle full of prep school boys that I have to take after the train ride, when I don't feel like making the trek past all of the huge rich people's houses on foot. Argh, taking that bus is seriously awkward, especially since all of the students manage to fit EXACTLY one to a seat, filling EVERY 2-person seat with one of their preppy selves and their backpacks and stuff, so that I have to come along and squeeze in next to one of them. (They're so... tiny though, even compared to tiny little me... are kids shrinking these days? Well, at least if there's a rebellion to throw me off the bus, I could probably take 'em, haha.)

If there's one thing I've learned from this so far, it's that most everything I do is shrouded in awkwardness. It's as though whenever I try something new or different, or am not extremely comfortable with a situation, every little fault I have is amplified a thousand-fold. Same goes for my worries and fears; they're always there, screaming at me from the back of my mind, making it difficult for me to do anything gracefully or to enjoy things even when I'm determined to have some fun. I suppose that's the next big "boss" I have to defeat, then. (WTH lame video game reference? I don't even play them!) This could be amusing, though... if it doesn't kill me...

I'm not going to go into detail about anymore of today's "adventures," because honestly, they were only adventures in my head. XD However, I did manage to accomplish a lot of things I desperately needed to today, including managing to FINALLY ask my boss for the recommendation letter I need for November... very slowly things are sliding into place, bwahaha.

Now, maybe I'll be able to have more adventures once I get my unlimited train pass. Yeah, a pass from middle-of-nowhere, CT to, er, west-of-nowhere, CT... sounds so promising. XD

Newest Gackt PV, in which we learn that Gackt (okay, it's really his character "Riderman" or whatever; I know nothing about this Kamen Rider show/movie) is lacking in the chivalry department (he just lets that bartender girl and the boy get beat up, yo) but is not afraid to kick women in the face... oh, and can blow up guys and motorcycles with his super-magical arm. XD Also, why does this video somehow remind me of Final Fantasy VII and Tifa and her bar...? Especially considering that I've never even played that game...

Seriously, Gackt must be a total nerd to take on roles in movies like this. That is not necessarily a bad thing, though, not at all... :D But with all the camwhoring he's been doing lately, I just wish Bunraku would finally be released...

(Sorry for the re-post if you read my Melo, but this journal is so empty and I rarely write anything of substance, so here goes nothing.)

Well, now I'm pissed.

I was just called out by a stranger on the internetz about my fashion choices, specifically my liking for lolita fashion. (I know, I know, the name has rather... unsavory connotations, but I can assure you that the fashion is nothing more than extremely cute, modest, elegant, a bit old-fashioned... and okay, a bit childish. Because the point is to look CUTE.)

Anyway, this is an example of the lolita style that I tend to wear:



Although I tend to gravitate more toward black, but whatever.

Anyway, this is how anonymous internet poster responded to the fashion and everyone who wears it:

"This fashion is not for grown up women in a grown-up world....It screams passive-agressively immature and attention-seeking behaviour. The woman who chooses this fashion does not see women as equals in any situation, and hopes that she can use her childish sexuality to secure protection and love. Intelligence and hard work, and the seeking of her own power on EQUAL terms with men, are not part of her mind-set. If my daughter were over 14 and dressed like this, I would be very concerned about her. If my son were attracted to a girl who dressed like this, I would be equally concerned. It is the 'You be in charge' version of the Dominatrix. Yikes."

What. the. hell? First of all, I think this person needs to learn what "passive-aggressive" means. Secondly, why does wearing frilly clothing necessarily mean that I do not believe that women are equal to men? I really don't understand how one can make that assumption. Thirdly, the claim of lolitas wearing this fashion to attract men is just completely laughable. I mean, if I wanted to use clothing to "secure protection and love" from guys, wouldn't I wear mainstream, sexy clothing that the majority of guys find appealing, rather than cutesy shit from Japan that most guys I know find completely weird and unappealing? That's just common sense, really. Also, intelligence has almost nothing to do with the way one dresses, thanks. And ROFL at the "hard work is not part of her mind-set" drivel: I actually buy what few lolita outfits I have (or make them :D ) with money that I earn from a job, thank you very much. So I'm not actually relying on anyone else for that.

Finally, I love how this person says that they would be "concerned" if they had a son who was attracted to someone who wore this type of clothing. Way to completely judge people on the way they dress... of course, if this hypothetical son was only attracted to lolitas and nothing else, I could see how that could be a little strange, but hey, if he and his girl are both happy, then who really cares? I shudder to think that this person might actually have kids someday if they display this kind of mentality...

Really, the ignorance is just staggering. I'm almost inclined to believe that this person is actually a man masquerading as a female on the internet, one who is concerned that these lolita girls and women don't care what others think of their clothing and won't conform to the ideals of "modern" fashion to suit guys: oh no, these women aren't showing enough cleavage and thigh for me, must get them to conform! And that would be so just like a man... ;)

Just kidding, o'course! But in all seriousness, I do wish people would stop equating feminine with anti-feminist. It's like, you can only be feminist if you a) dress like a man or b) dress in skimpy clothing, because hey, this ain't the Victorian period anymore! (I don't comprehend this at all, but I have actually seen self-styled feminists claim this, in a less-ridiculous way.) I mean, we should all be free to wear what we want: isn't that more feminist than saying that women should all dress a certain way, anyway? I may prefer to dress like a Victorian child on crack sometimes, but that doesn't mean I believe I should act like a Victorian girl or woman. Quite the opposite.

TL;DR: Lolita fashion can be crazy weird-looking, and it definitely isn't everybody's cup of tea, but the whole point is to dress for yourself and not to attract men, so I really don't see how it is anti-feminist. Also, making snap judgments about clothing is lame.

Okay, I think I'm done.

I'm locking myself up here with the sewing machine and throwing away the key, because I need to finish my own costume along with Brenda's by Monday at the absolute latest. And Brenda's is not even halfway finished. =/

I'll try to imagine that this is sort of like a fairy tale... maybe Rapunzel? Minus the witch and with layers upon layers of stretch satin, rhinestones, and shiny trim. Actually, the whole locked up to work thing sounds more like Rumpelstiltskin, doesn't it?

Also, I just LOVE how Brenda is suddenly on vacation in Chicago while Jay and I are working our asses off sewing, practicing the skit, mixing the entire skit, and even recording her own lines for the skit. D:

Oh well, enough negativity. Back to work~! And on the bright side: I'm NEVER doing this again. Bleh.

Nothing like starting off an entry with some good ol' Japanophile title. (But really, I studied Japanese seriously in college so it's okay, I can use it, guys. Haha?)

Erm... but anyway, I haven't posted anything in here in months, and I'm not really sure why. Okay, okay, I DO know why: my lack of posting here is the result of most of my friends leaving this site or not really keeping up with it anymore, as well as me following one of my friends to another journaling site. Also, I've suddenly become terrified of everyone on my friends list who has never actually met me; undoubtedly y'all are going to start wondering why the hell you ever friended me in the first place, heh.

And also, my life kinda sucks right now. But it's nobody's fault but mine: my surroundings are far from the worst they could possibly be, but my mindset is... not. After I graduated college, I was plunged into that limbo of being in the big, bad, official "real world" and yet, I still felt like a scared little freshman with no skills or goals or direction. I guess that'd explain why I'm currently working a dead-end job that has no relation to what I studied in school whatsoever. (And I refuse to blame the economy. Yes, it's terrible right now, but I've beaten incredible odds and been uncannily lucky in almost everything I've ever tried to do in the past, so I'm guessing I've just lost the will to try. Orrrrr my luck has run out...)

I'm just... blank right now. I haven't the faintest idea why I'm even here in the first place. (Oh god, I'm glad Adam doesn't seem to be around here anymore or he'd probably start in on one of his philosophy spiels...) I don't even remember what I used to write about in here (before I deleted everything... yes, even my post about the Gackt concert ;_; ) because honestly, my life has never been all that eventful, thanks to me developing terrible shyness after sixth grade. (I went through puberty and all I got was this lousy T-shirt social anxiety... yeah, I don't know, either.) I DO remember writing about how I felt like I was drowning in a whirlpool one day. XD Ahhh, the days when I used to think I was a poet. *sigh*

Maybe I should take up creative writing again. Maybe I should write about my daily life as a way to remind myself of how static my life is right now and to keep me focused (or shamed into!) changing that. Maybe I should just use this as a Japanese journal, since I'd really like to not completely lose the little bit that I know. Maybe I should just quit worrying about anything meaningful and join every cosplay and Jpop and Kpop community and gush about costumes and sewing and TVXQ all day long. Maybe I will put this to a vote. Hah. Maybe I will just drop off the face of Livejournal again.

...

Well, there's probably going to be one more costuming post, at least. These costumes are going to be far too ~*fabulous*~ for that NOT to happen. >D

I FINALLY figured out how to tie a butterfly obi. Thanks, YouTube!

We did pretty much the same routine today as yesterday, so I was actually able to follow along pretty well! ^_^ The only new thing was some weird, confusing dance to... wait for it... wait for it... that "woop woop" song! LMAO.

Also, yet MORE people from SHS were there working out. Including the guy who went to the same college as I did, also worked in the library, and also happened to be there when I was dressed like a dork for the midnight showing of the last Harry Potter movie. Stop following me!! :O

I won $5 from my box of Cheerios today. 1 in 10 odds ain't that bad, but I'm quite the unlucky one so I was hella surprised to discover the cash card in there.

And that was probably the best part of my day. Seriously.
Laaaaaame. <3

Also, I'm scared to death about Friday. (Friday = first run-through of the script for the kidz day show) If I'm already freaking out now, how in the name of Yevon am I going to make it to the day of the show? -_- Yeah, exactly.

I need:
-To stop guilt-tripping myself into doing things for other people
-To stop worrying about things I've already guilt-tripped myself into doing xD
-To have a tag sale soon (seriously, I need to get these heaps of junk out of here and some extra monies into my pocket)
-To sell Galinda to the guy who offered to buy her (FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF) ;_;
-To get to sleep now so I can wake up for the weekly 5am ritual of calling the gym and registering for this damn class

Oh gosh, that song from class is stuck in my head right now. BTW Jay, you missed an awesome class today. It was kind of empty tonight somehow, not as crowded (maybe people didn't want to brave the rain?), the teacher kept making fun of us for not being as hyper as her, and she taught us loads of new dances that neither Brenda nor I could do but EVERY OTHER PERSON in the room could... :/ Including the pregnant woman. :O But at least you didn't have to worry about the tower of step platforms in the corner suddenly falling over during class and almost hitting us... or the guy in the parking lot who almost ran me over with his car and actually hit Brenda (okay, he was backing up at about 2mph, but still) and then proceeded to stare at us while we went inside, and even afterward. O_o Yep, 'twas some crazy stuff goin' on... I mean, as crazy as a trip to the gym could possibly get, I suppose.

Also, it was... awkward... seeing people that I went to SHS with at the gym. I dunno why that weirds me out, but it does. (I hope they didn't recognize me, but seeing as I haven't changed much since high school, I think the odds of that are rather dismal.)

Hmm, I think Sara wants to go to NYC sometime over spring break... fabric shopping, here we come! Get your haggling caps on! (WTH?) FOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I *really* hope this Wizard of Oz themed cosplay goes through this year. It'd be so hilarious and even the library peeps would love it because they'd actually recognize it! And hey, I even found yellow brick road patterned fabric for around $8/yard online... *wink wink* And hurrah for "screaming flying monkeys!"

I'm still not even finished with half of the beading on the belt I'm making for my main costume, though, so perhaps I should worry about that for now. Urgh. At the moment, I'm kicking myself for making the brilliant suggestion of hand-beading this shizzle. However, I know the end result will look quite awesome... at least, from a distance... under bright light... to people with less than stellar vision...? *cough* I'm sorry, I just spent a little time doing a few more rows of beading and I'm already feeling sick of it. Yeah, great progress I'm making here. -_-

On a more serious note, these days I find that I'm berating myself more and more for what I chose to study and major in at uni. Of course, I'm also starting to become convinced that I'm just not cut out for the academic/professional life and any degree that I have or will ever possibly have is going to be useless to me. Yes, I've always been quite good at school, but only because I learn things quickly and have an extremely good short-term memory. I'm horrible at applying the things I learn, which, coupled with my lack of ambition and extreme shyness, means I'm pretty much doomed when it comes to ever finding an actual career. Sadly, though, I just don't care about that so much. I want to be able to fill my life with things I enjoy, rather than slaving away for the sake of lofty academic ideals or even the betterment of the world (selfish much?) because really, how much of a difference could I possibly make, anyway?

But even as I write this, there is that minuscule nagging voice inside my head that tells me I could be doing so much more, that I'm wasting my potential. I think it's the voices of so many teachers I've had throughout the years all blended into one... if only they could see how I turned out in the end...

Well, that was depressing, sorry. ^^; Tomorrow is another day to decide that I'm going to cultivate some ambitions that don't involve me becoming a crazy cat lady (ewk cats) or a hikikomori... :/

I know I'm totally late to the party on this, but being home sick I've been watching various things on Youtube... and I've stumbled upon the anime, Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei. And omigosh, I'm hooked. The show is total crack... I mean, all the students are named after different social issues/stereotypes in Japan and anime and are completely psychotic for the most part. You've got the eternally optimistic girl who can't actually see the truth of what's going on around her, the OCD-ish girl who needs everything to be perfect, the doujinshi-drawing yaoi fangirl, the foreign girl who sues everyone for sexual harassment (and also happens to be the requisite panty shot character, lol), the stalker girl, and my personal favorites: the social recluse and the girl who only communicates through email... among others. And of course, you have their teacher who tries to hang himself in almost every episode.

It's such a ridiculous show that parodies a lot of things, but in it's own way it's kind of insightful as well. Although it's mainly just hilarious to me. (The opening animation freaks me the hell out, though.) Of course, this all may just be the medication talking...

Wow, it's been awhile since I've actually felt like watching an anime, or listening to Arashi, or... yeah, I think I'm regressing. -_-;

Also, I hope I feel better tonight, at least well enough to go to yoga class. I still haven't been and I really wanted to start tonight. Guess it's back to bed for me until then.

My computer is supposed to reset the time automatically for Daylight Saving, but it totally didn't. So I've been sitting here thinking it's only 8:30 when it's really an hour later. >_<

Katie, come give me your stomach virus now! I don't want to go to work tomorrow! I want to stay home eating Trader Joe-san's (lol) edamame and veggie chips and devise a way to turn my red shoes silver for the premiere of The Wiz... which, I suppose would be rather hard to accomplish while I'm puking my guts out, so, uh, I'll just stop now...

motoki_kun got a part in The Wiz! Hurrah! Bridgepo't rocks! And Motoki rocks at dancing and singing!
Too bad we couldn't celebrate with pie-cake and ice cream, though. :( Damn pseudo-Lenten-health and fitness giving up of sweets.

Okay, better start saving up for these (expensive!) tickets now, hah... B-port be gettin' swanky with this playhouse, eh? Oh god I don't know I'm tiiiiired...

^_^

Hurrah, snow day today! At least, I *think* so... no one seems to be answering the phone at my place of employment and the uni website says all offices are closed, so hmm. It'd be nice if i could get on the email list so I could be notified when we're closing like everyone else. :/ I could go on an entire tirade here about how much my status at my job sucks (I've been working here how many years and I'm still probably never going to become a regular staff member WTF I guess I just suck that much) but I'm going to stop there. ^^;

Well, I know how I'll be whiling the day away... *curls up on bed with a bag of beads and long-ass fabric belts* Four rows of beading down, only... 105 to go!

March 12th. No ballet class! Going to Zumba! Call to sign up the morning of the 11th! Party! IDK!

I missed ballet class today because of stupid female problems (grr I abhor my body) so I can't use my ballet icon. And I'm disappointed because apparently they learned pique turns today and I am terrible at turns so I could have used the practice. Bah.

At least I learned that no one is ever around on adult ballet night to, y'know, sign people in or sell them class cards, so we will probably end up getting more classes for free, bwahaha. *knocks desperately on wood*

And I could use the extra money because today I signed up for a gym membership. XD This is hilarious to me; I'm so not the athletic type... I'm not even fit... which is why I need to go to the gym in the first place. Although I basically joined for the dance and yoga classes offered there, because the gym itself is slightly creepy and intimidating. I'm supposed to be getting a free personal training session, too, but I may end up just canceling that because, well, I only joined for the classes. I don't need to learn how to use the machines by the creepy guy who signed me up in the first place.

In any case, I'm hoping going to the gym and exercising will help me sleep better at night and boost my mood a bit... as well as making me sexier for supah sweet cosplay in the summer! XD Mmm stretch satin...

...I saw my old friend from the library today! He used to work there over the summer when I did a few years ago, and I hadn't seen him since then. What's really freaky is that I was just thinking about him today, wondering what he's doing now (he's a freakin' genius with a degree in physics) and if he'd ever come back to visit the ol' library (really, who would want to? XD). Soon afterwards, while I was on my way to lunch, I passed by Sharon and some really tall guy on the way to the other Sharon's office, and when the guy started waving to me I was like "WTF, who the heck-- omigosh it's him!" It literally took me ten seconds to recognize him. And then Sharon laughed at me even though she later admitted that she didn't recognize him at first, either. Probably because he cut his hair? Or maybe just because it's been a long-ass time since we'd seen him last.

Then I saw him leaving when I was in the middle of some tedious work and I wanted to yell, "Don't leave!" or just tell him goodbye or something but alas, I couldn't. (I should've, though, it quite likely would have sent all the librarians into fits of shock at me actually yelling. They were shocked enough at me telling them I hate bananas when they offered me one today (I don't even know where the freakin banana came from, it was so random): "Ohmigosh, you hate bananas?! We've never met anyone who didn't like bananas! That's so weird! We'll put the banana in the corner so you don't have to look at it." Yeah... -_- )

The BEST part of the day (and by best I mean lamest and most embarrassing) was when I was downstairs doing some work in the archives room. (I got new stuff to do at work now, yay!) The archives contain our RARE and OMGEXPENSIVE books and videos and shiz, along with millions (more or less) of less rare and expensive and the occasional useless outdated materials that people donate to us to keep for posterity or something. In any case, because of all the RARE and OMGEXPENSIVE things, this room is for staff members only (except I'm not actually an official staff member, lolz) and has to be locked at all times. Since I was waiting for my boss at the moment to come back I left the door unlocked figuring that no one would come in anyway... so of course, some kid wanders in and starts meandering around the shelves like he owns the place. I was about to tell him off when I thought that he could perhaps be a student who worked at the library that I didn't know and since I didn't want to embarrass myself by making a mistake, I let him wander in there for a while (stupid!). He finally asked if he could look at some of the things on the shelves (like check them out) and I FINALLY realized that he was, in fact, a random student, and got him out of there. Then I locked the door. XD (I could have gotten into serious trouble for letting him get in there in the first place. Eep.)

Ballet class tomorrow! ^.^ Although the fact that it will no longer be free of charge is just a little more daunting... bah having to buy 10-class cards. :/ Hopefully the class will be worth it though, even if it isn't CLS's awesome class. <3


*Actually, a bunch of library peeps pooled their cash to buy a bunch of tickets, and we won $14. Total. HAHAHA.